Month: February 2016

Senses

There are things that
you never get over

like first kisses
and last words

the way the sun glints
off the ocean

salt air on your lips
the feel of sand on toes

the scent of an infant’s
soft downy head

laughter that bubbles
up from deep within

the taste of a picnic
on a green meadow

a painting of a cottage
by Van Gogh

the sound of violins
in Vivaldi’s spring

birdsong in the
early evening

the view from beneath
the one you love

his strong shoulders
the shuddering embrace

the whispered promise
the welcome release

the wholeness that comes
from knowing
you belong

 

 

Now

I feel better than I have in a long time.

Like, a really, really long time.

Much of it is proper medication. During my last low point, a couple of months ago, my doctor put me on Effexor, and that is when things slowly started looking up. I quit dreading each day. Things like taking a shower no longer seemed insurmountably difficult. I no longer felt like I was walking through peanut butter. People ceased annoying the hell out of me. I stopped weeping at random moments. The crushing weight on my chest lightened.

The sky was bluer. The sun was shinier. The birdsong was tweetier. My kids’ laughter was brighter. The thought of the future didn’t fill me with apprehension.

This may sound ridiculous to some, but to others, it may offer a glimmer of hope. If you, or someone you know, is suffering from depression, it can take time to get the meds right. Don’t give up.  There are infinite combinations of medications. One will work for you, if you keep working with your doctor to find it. I was diagnosed as bipolar over three years ago, and I have been on various meds for just that long before hitting upon this magical combo (Latuda, Abilify, Effexor). Also, I’m taking turmeric, which has been shown to decrease inflammation (inflammation has been linked to depression).

Other than medication, I’ve been doing some things just for me. I’m taking banjo lessons, and going to a writer’s group. I’m writing a little each day. Sometimes a lot. These are enormous things, and things I have to fight not to feel guilty about. How twisted is that? I start to feel guilty for leaving the house, or telling Judah “I’m working” when he makes his 1,001st demand on my time, and then I slap myself (metaphorically) and keep going.

Then there’s the weather. Sunny. Highs in the 70s and low 80s. Fresh breezes blowing. Fluffy clouds in the sky.

I’m so glad I can appreciate it.

There was a time, not long ago, that I wouldn’t have been able to.

That was then, though. For now, I’m riding this wave as long as I can.

 

Slight Change of Direction

So I unfolded and shook out the fantasy novel I wrote and got really excited rereading it. My brother Matthew has been helping me put some humor and extra description into it, and I believe it will be the next great SFF story, I really do. Here’s my synopsis for it:
 
“Andrew and Rose Bradford try hard to be a normal retired couple, but when the forces of the Otherworld come calling, they find them impossible to resist. Crossing the United States in their Winnebago Brave with a pregnant mermaid queen, they encounter myriads of creatures both mythical and theoretical, all in various predicaments that need the peculiar and specific talents of the couple.
 
When Ba’algrim, the great but banished god of the gnomes, threatens to rise back up and take over the world, Andrew and Rose find themselves in almost over their heads. With trusty blades (and the occasional poundcake) in hand, however, they find the power to defeat the monster and restore order to both the Otherworld and their own.
 
Hello World! is a rollicking tale with memorable and endearing characters that will live on in the imagination of the reader. Fantastic encounters set against the backdrop of modern-day America will thrill fantasy aficionados, as well as anyone who loves a good adventure story.”
What do you think? If you read such a description on a book jacket, would you want to read it?

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